an ode to internet dating superstars

-you showed up to our first date drunk. we were meeting at a bar.

-you came instantly and hated me for it.

-you kissed me like a st. bernard but i showed you my skin anyway. when i asked you to take me, you said "i thought we were just doing oral."

-you came from greece and had a phd in biomedical engineering.  what the hell were you looking for in a street rat like me?

-you fucked me like you'd always known me. you were a drag, but i dug the way you eyed my throat.

-you looked like him; i was nostalgic. then i remembered why i left.

-you were nervous, your woody allen schtick as weak as your grip on my thigh. i asked you to leave twice. the third time, you kissed asphalt.

-you showed me your basement first. it was from then i should have known.