this time around
i like it better when i'm alone
and in the dark
and consumed by the quiet
and how bright this monitor is.
i want to be a part of them;
i want to be enveloped in their laughter
suspended by their high pitched elation
but this feels better.
i can't tell if i like that they don't need me
or if i should stop being such a fucking asshole
and just go have fun.