discord.

you've been showing up
in dreams lately.
funny, because today
is your birthday
not that i heed it
a ceremony in thought.

i've been thinking a lot
about leaving
and
it reminds me a lot
of hiding.
of this, we're familiar:
we had the boat museum,
the super market,
staged new york city
crime addled streets
flashing our badges

to escape the noise.
no one talked
when we were alone.
there was the sound of air
leaving our bodies,
a computer humming,
dogs in back alleys,
my heart
thumping
thumping
it thumped when we
were quiet.

i'd like to say
we made promises.
we never made promises
but relished in finality
and limits
because, after all,
we were limited
limited
to x amount of steps
and so many sunrises.
i remember our first one
but i won't say
i've retained the last.